Dating is hard. All those apps are supposed to make things easier, but ultimately we’re all still just winging it and hoping for the best. And once you meet someone who’s interested, you still have that all-important first date to get through. In a thread on Reddit, women have started sharing the things that men have done on a first date that have made them want to see them again.
“He remembered little things that I had talked about before that even I forgot about,” said one woman. “Also texted me right afterwards telling me that he acknowledged that I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and didn’t want to do anything out of my comfort zone but that he would love to see me again.” It doesn’t sound like a lot; listening really is bare minimum stuff, after all. But this guy made a point of proving that he’d been paying attention, and also that he understood her situation and respected her boundaries.
And while we’re on the subject, that first post-date text can make or break things. “This is more after the date, but he didn’t play any mind games and texted me that same night saying he had a great time,” said another commenter. “It was refreshing for me.” Another added: “Also, if arriving separately, texting to ask if I got home okay – shows you’re still thinking of me.”
Turns out, a lot of women like this straightforward approach: “He texted a little later to ask if I got home okay, and then said he’d love to see me again and proposed a date for the next weekend. Pitch perfect way to wrap up a date, and no stupid games.”
OK, so games are a no-no. Also, while confidence is great, cockiness is less so. One woman on the thread said she likes it when a man isn’t afraid to show a little vulnerability and put himself out there: “I think any time a guy has showed genuine nervousness with a little bit of giddiness I have wanted a second date.”
“He would ask me if it was okay to touch me, and if I liked it,” said another commenter. “It was OK and I liked it very much.” There’s an old school way of thinking when it comes to romance that paints asking for consent as unsexy, but really, what could be more of a turn-on than somebody telling you how much they want to be intimate? As this woman said: “Showing you care about your potential partner’s pleasure is sexy.”
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health