'Is My Lack Of Experience Unattractive?' - Men's Health Magazine Australia

‘Is My Lack Of Experience Unattractive?’

We ask the office girls.

Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers. Today they’re asked: “I’m in my twenties, very sexually inexperienced, and feeling anxious about it. Is my lack of experience unattractive?”  – JC

Nik: Well, let me start: absolutely not unattractive. 

Jess: Agreed. Nothing wrong with inexperience. However, your hang-ups around it could be . . . off-putting.

Nik: I think if the guy were in his thirties, that would make me a little worried. But twenties? Still so young! Don’t stress.

Becky: No problems here with a sexual neophyte.

Jess: I think the main thing could be having a conversation with your new love interest with the aim of alleviating any anxiety you’re feeling.

Becky: That might be difficult, I realise. You’d probably rather come across as smooth rather than nervy. But keeping anxious feelings to yourself is a sure way to grow them and make this a bigger issue than it needs to be. 

Nik: Yep, I’d share what you’re feeling. Who knows? Your partner could be having the same thoughts – or at least can remember a time when she did. 

Jess: Let’s face it. COVID has changed dating. Made it less carefree. Whether you’re expressing fears around infectiousness or performance anxiety, it’s all fair and reasonable.

Nik: This is true. 

Becky: I probably sound like a broken record, but it comes down to communication. And look, some people might actually prefer a lack of experience. It’s kinda sweet. Everybody goes at their own pace. Just try to relax and be honest with her.

Jess: Also, let’s be real here: having slept with a lot of people doesn’t make you good in bed.

Nik: I remember being told by my guy that it was his first time, and I found it super attractive that he was open about it, especially because it was my first time, too.

Jess: Honesty heightens intimacy – that’s how I see it. When it comes down to it, being a good lover is about being receptive to your partner’s wants and needs. You don’t need years of experience to be that. 

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