As a guy, you’re probably the first one to initiate sex when you’re in the mood—that’s not your fault, research shows that men tend to have higher sex drives than women.
But that doesn’t mean she’s completely uninterested, either. It just means you may have to spend a little more time building momentum.
How? It may be more simple than you think, according to a recent survey commissioned by Eden Fantasys, a website that sells intimate products for every kind of couple. In the poll, market researchers asked 1,000 men and women how their partner could get them in a romantic mood when they weren’t initially feeling it.
Here’s what the ladies had to say.
GO BACK TO THE BASICS
Don’t underestimate the power of an amazing makeout session: 75 percent of women said kissing would help get them in a romantic mood, while 61 percent agreed that even a hug would help do the trick. That’s because kissing isn’t just a physical turn on, it’s an emotional act that builds intimacy, too.
You don’t have to attack just her mouth, though. Try kissing these seven parts of her body if you really want to get her going.
RELATED: 12 Sex Secrets Women Wish You Knew
SURPRISE HER WITH A ROMANTIC DINNER DATE
Nearly 50 percent of women admitted that a romantic dinner or date would help get them in the mood.
Why? Because going on a fun date can spur all kinds of feel-good emotions. Taking her to a baseball game or for a stroll through the park makes for easy conversation. Cooking dinner for her instead of going out for a bite shows that you’re willing to take the time to do something nice for her (even if you’re not great at it). Doing something out of your comfort zone that lets both of you learn more about each other. Trying a new hobby together, for instance, will build intimacy in a totally different way.
Basically, you’re making her feel noticed in all the right ways before you even go near the bedroom, so it can only get better from there.
WHIP OUT YOUR BEST DIRTY TALK
Alright, so here’s where you get straight to the point. Granted, if you don’t tread carefully, talking dirty can get really corny really fast.
But saying all the right things can work in your favour, according to 32 percent of the women surveyed. Just remember that “dirty talk” goes beyond what you hear in porn (In fact, telling her you’re going to “hammer her like the filthy girl she is” can actually be a major turn off if she’s not expecting it, just a heads up).
Here’s exactly what you should say before, during, and after sex. Take notes on the video below, too.
EMBRACE THE SEX TOYS
If you’re building up to using a sex toy, chances are you’ve already got her going. Still, 27 percent of women reported that the right toy sets the right scene. Think of it as a secret weapon in your foreplay arsenal.
MAKE HER FEEL SEXY
Nearly 25 percent of women said lingerie or sexy attire can help get them in the mood. Makes sense, since mixing things up—say, by incorporating lingerie—is one of the secrets of long-term couples who still have sex.
Okay, so you know lace helps, but how do you encourage her to slip into something a little more silky? For one, don’t completely bash her plain nude bra and cotton underwear (they’re comfortable, damn it!). Instead, during the moments she does decide to slip into something a little more sexy, tell her how amazing she looks so she knows how much you love it.
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health