Scientists discovered that men who identified as gay and bisexual reported “significantly more frequent use” of internet porn compared to straight men. But all of the guys surveyed had viewed some form of porn in the past six months.
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Most men viewed it on their computer or phone, but some also watched it on DVD or through an on-demand cable service. Also, here’s an interesting nugget: “Heterosexual men were more likely than gay men to report viewing sexually explicit media at work on a computer,” researchers reported.
But here’s something that might truly shock you: More than 20 per cent of men who identified as straight admitted to watching gay porn. (Researchers also found that 55 per cent of men who identified as gay said they watched heterosexual porn.) Straight guys weren’t going for Brokeback Mountain—esque love scenes, either. They were watching the same stuff gay men watched, including fisting, bondage, sadomasochism, cock and ball torture, and sounding (sticking things up your urethra).
So what does it mean if you discover your guy likes watching man-on-man action?
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New York City sex therapist Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, says you shouldn’t panic and assume your guy is gay. “The porn a person watches is not always tightly correlated with their sexual preferences or orientation and can express a wide range of sexual interests,” he says. “Porn allows us to explore sexual curiosities and taboos that we would not otherwise enjoy in reality.”
Kerner says he’s worked with many heterosexual men (and women) who enjoy gay porn. “Generally, the men are curious and looking for some variety,” he says. “It’s only a problem for the guy when it’s part of a deeper erotic conflict, for example the guy is gay and closeted, or wrestling with an aspect of identity.”
Kerner says experts are just starting to learn more about male sexual fluidity, and men watching guy-on-guy porn is part of understanding it as a spectrum of sexuality.
So, if you discover that your guy likes gay porn, talk to him about it. Maybe he’s just curious, or maybe he wants to try something new in the bedroom. Whatever it is, it’s worth having a conversation about it.
This article originally appeared on WomensHealthMag.com