You only need to watch the latest Netflix docuseries to see that narcissists walk amongst us. While no-one wants to be that person, shows like the Tinder Swindler have seen many of us question just what a narcissist might look like and, more importantly, how do we spot one out in the wild? According to Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., otherwise known as Dr. Ramani on YouTube, the body actually has a rather significant tell that indicates a narcissist has entered the building. As the saying goes: “trust your gut” and when it comes to spotting a narcissist, there really is truth in it.
“Pay attention to how you feel in your body,” says Dr Ramani. “When you are in the presence of a narcissistic or invalidating, or toxic person, you will almost always feel a sense of discomfort in your body.”
Dr. Ramani also explains the sensation behind the “gut feeling” response in the body. “For some people, it’s a pit in their gut. For other people, it might be this headache that comes on real fast,” she says. “For others, it might feel like a tightness in their chest or even the symptoms of an impending panic attack or dizziness. Some people will simply say they feel the hairs standing up on the back of their neck. Some people even get goosebumps and chills like that.”
Basically, the key here is that in the presence of a narcissist, regardless of just what it is you might be feeling in your body, it won’t feel right. Dr. Ramani explained that she feels narcissism in the centre of her chest then down towards her diaphragm. “I feel a tightness and a little bit of feeling sick to my stomach and I really, really lose my appetite…I know at that point that I want to get out of that situation, but my body is really telling me the story.”
As much as everyone loves to criticise a narcissist, it’s interesting to see that the body itself has a reaction and basically, it’s one that seems to suggest such a persona triggers a “bad vibe” within the body. Dr. Ramani then encourages her followers to think back to when their body told them to simply get away, and if they later discovered the person was a narcissist. Oh, to think of the personal strife and relationship turmoil that could have been avoided if such a response was actually listened to.