In a Reddit thread which has sparked thousands of replies, women are talking about the things that men do in bed which they absolutely love, and which they would like them to do more.
A large number of women said that they really enjoy the way neck kisses feel, but one commenter did specify a pretty important caveat. “Neck kisses WITHOUT leaving hickies,” she said. “We’re trying to have some feels here guys, not wake up the next day looking like a hungover 16 year old.”
Neck kisses are just the tip (so to speak) of the iceberg; in general, women just wish that their male partners would pay more attention to foreplay, instead of just treating penetrative sex like the main, or indeed only event. “It’s kinda boring when the dude just pounds away and that’s all,” said one commenter, while another channelled Tormund Giantsbane from Game of Thrones, saying: “You need to be patient, give her time. Your cock shouldn’t go near her until she’s slick as a baby seal.”
“[Foreplay] really gets overlooked,” said a woman elsewhere on the thread. “You can’t just pounce and expect us to already be on your level. You gotta warm us up first to get us ready. Think of us like a bbq grill. That’s right, a GRILL. You can’t just slap your meat on there when the coals aren’t even hot.”
And finally: make some noise! Women on the thread said they loved it when their partners were vocal during sex. “It’s so attractive when guys growl or hiss or pant or what have you,” reads one comment. “Talk sexy! Whisper in my ear! All of these things make it so much better than someone who’s too cool to make any noise at all.”
“I love when he makes a lot of noise!” Said another. “The moaning and groaning gets me going.”
“Research finds that, regardless of gender, people who moan and groan a lot in bed tend to be more sexually satisfied,” says Dr Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute. “Why? Because it’s a form of sexual communication. It conveys to your partner what feels good, which increases the odds of them doing it again. It also shows appreciation for a job well done.”
And a guy commenting on the thread was able to confirm this: “This is 100% true and makes it more enjoyable for EVERYONE,” he said. “I never really used to moan or make expressions but now sex is so much more passionate and enjoyable. Let alone is a massive turn on for her, which in turn is one for myself.”
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health