Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers. Today we ask: My girlfriend says I’m a passenger in our relationship, that I never plan anything “nice”. Any tips on taking charge?
Nikolina: You know, something my husband always does is, a free day comes around and he’ll say, “You know, I was going to arrange this, but then
I didn’t because I wasn’t sure you’d like it”. So, my advice in those circumstances would be, just take the initiative – take the risk.
Lizza: Yeah. No matter what you come up with, it’s almost certain she’ll appreciate the effort.
Nikolina: The other thing you can do is check in with a friend of hers – maybe she’ll know better than you do what your girlfriend’s idea of a fun day out looks like. But failing that, just go for it. Unless it’s sky diving and she’s scared of heights, it’s probably not too big a gamble.
Becky: I’m a very organised person. I like to know what the week holds. So, if it were me, I’d want my partner to say, “Hey, are you free on the 18th? Keep it free”. Or, “Keep this night open because I’m planning something for you”. And then, in my head, I’m mentally prepared for a surprise. It shouldn’t be too hard to make it a good surprise rather than a bad one. I mean, you know what she likes to do, right? You know what her favourite dish is?
Lizza: Planned spontaneity.
Nikolina: Better to plan a dud date, I think, than to plan nothing at all.
Becky: And she can give feedback. Why did it not quite work? What would be better next time?
Lizza: Agreed. No matter what you come up with, within reason, you’re going to get points for trying.