February 14th – otherwise known as Valentine’s Day – is long over, my friends, and there’s another holiday fast approaching. A day which requires little effort. A day which requires little money (although the price of steak is increasing). A day, unlike Valentine’s Day, which doesn’t routinely end in disappointment or have a 47 per cent increase of relationship break ups.
That day is March 14th, and in what should arguably be a global public holiday, men all over the world will celebrate ‘Steak and Blowjob Day’. And yes, you better believe it’s real.
Billed as the “Valentine’s Day for men”, Steak and BJ Day takes place exactly a month after it’s ugly step-sister, and is meant to be “simple, effective, and self-explanatory.” And that’s exactly what it is: we don’t want cards, we don’t want flowers, we don’t want jewellery worth hundreds of dollars we’ll never wear or an unsatisfying dinner not worth its price tag.
It’s simple: “just a steak and a BJ. That’s it.”
We don’t know where the day originated from or what was going through the person’s mind to make them conjure up such a fantastic, well-thought-out idea.
We’re guessing something like: “Life’s so unfair, if only there was a day dedicated to eating a T-bone and getting a blowjob. In fact that sounds incredible, let’s make it happen.”
Whoever it was, and for whatever reason: mystery man, we salute you.
