If you’re gearing up to have anal sex for the first time, you’ve probably got some questions. Chief among them: Is she going to poop during the act?
Ready for it?…Yep, it might happen. But, before you freak out, rest assured that there are things you can do make it less of a, well, messy affair.
First, let’s get real about what anal sex is: A penis or sex toy is going up her butt, so the fear that she might poop is common and normal. There’s always the likelihood of a little leakage. “If there’s stool in the rectum, and there is stimulation to the rectum, it will increase the chance of having a bowel movement,” says Lauren Streicher, M.D., Medical Director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause.
But this is also why anal sex can be pleasurable for her—“it gets [her] pelvic floor stimulated and contracting, which in turn will get [her] to poop,” she adds. If there’s poop there, there’s a chance it’ll make its way out.
What’s more, weak anal sphincter muscles may make her more likely to leak during backdoor play, explains Alayne Markland, D.O., an associate professor at the University of Alabama Medicine.
Okay, I’d still like to prevent it from happening. Tell me how.
If you remember one anal sex mantra, let it be this: “Make sure you’re not due to poo,” says sexologist Juliet Allen, M.A. She doesn’t want a full bowel, so get her to try to empty the pipes beforehand. And, she adds, if you know you might have anal later, don’t eat foods that will go through her, since it may increase her chances of pooping during anal (like spicy, fatty stuff. Definitely don’t order the chili fries). Some people will try enemas to clean things out, and this is generally safe when used on occasion, says Streicher.
You can also try shallower penetration to reduce the risk. And if you naturally have a penis with a large corona [head of the penis], be prepared that it’s more likely to, um, take poop out with it.
Plus, if you’re concerned about the aforementioned weak sphincter issue, doing kegels regularly can help her strengthen those muscles.
Yikes, it happened. Now what do I do?
You have to be prepared to tap into your inner shruggy emoji. “The reality is, when we choose to have anal sex, we choose to put something up our bum, which is where poo comes from,” says Allen. “So it’s a risk we take.” (Simply put, but so, so true.) If she leaks (or more) and she feels embarrassed, remind her (and yourself) that sex can be a messy affair. Hop in the shower together to wash off, and you’ll hardly notice.
Importantly, don’t let the chance of poop scare you away. “You shouldn’t be afraid to try sexual practices that you [both] enjoy,” says Markland. Keep in mind, it’s also about who you do it with: “Choose amazing partners/lovers to have sex with,” says Allen. “And then you’ll be with someone who will not make it a big deal.”