Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers. Today they’re asked: “I’m in my twenties, very sexually inexperienced, and feeling anxious about it. Is my lack of experience unattractive?” – JC
Nik: Well, let me start: absolutely not unattractive.
Jess: Agreed. Nothing wrong with inexperience. However, your hang-ups around it could be . . . off-putting.
Nik: I think if the guy were in his thirties, that would make me a little worried. But twenties? Still so young! Don’t stress.
Becky: No problems here with a sexual neophyte.
Jess: I think the main thing could be having a conversation with your new love interest with the aim of alleviating any anxiety you’re feeling.
Becky: That might be difficult, I realise. You’d probably rather come across as smooth rather than nervy. But keeping anxious feelings to yourself is a sure way to grow them and make this a bigger issue than it needs to be.
Nik: Yep, I’d share what you’re feeling. Who knows? Your partner could be having the same thoughts – or at least can remember a time when she did.
Jess: Let’s face it. COVID has changed dating. Made it less carefree. Whether you’re expressing fears around infectiousness or performance anxiety, it’s all fair and reasonable.
Nik: This is true.
Becky: I probably sound like a broken record, but it comes down to communication. And look, some people might actually prefer a lack of experience. It’s kinda sweet. Everybody goes at their own pace. Just try to relax and be honest with her.
Jess: Also, let’s be real here: having slept with a lot of people doesn’t make you good in bed.
Nik: I remember being told by my guy that it was his first time, and I found it super attractive that he was open about it, especially because it was my first time, too.
Jess: Honesty heightens intimacy – that’s how I see it. When it comes down to it, being a good lover is about being receptive to your partner’s wants and needs. You don’t need years of experience to be that.
