I was given my first vibrating cock ring (or, VBC for short) when I was 20. My brother was graduating from college, and I was helping him move out of his apartment. While packing, he found it in his drawer.
“I forgot I had this,” he said. “Have you ever used one of these?”
I shook my head side to side.
“This one’s new. Here. Give it a shot. Oh, and this one vibrates.”
He tossed it over to me. I vividly remember, well, first dropping it, but then scrutinising it. Why would I ever need this? Why does he even have this?
A few years later I started dating a woman who I like to call the “courageous adventurer.” She knew what she liked and had no qualms asking for it.
I couldn’t ever lose myself fully when I was having sex with her. I was too afraid I’d mess it up somehow. Despite her clear enjoyment and pleasure, I still felt I wasn’t enough for her. I imagined the other guys she slept with while she was intimate with me. My insecurities ran too deep, and I couldn’t shake them no matter how hard I tried.
So in an attempt to “reinvigorate” our sex life, I reminded myself about the ring. Not even bothering to look for the one I threw aside years back, I started doing some research and was led to LELO. At the forefront of sexual pleasure for all genders, LELO’s collection of sex toys are like nothing you’ve seen before: they are incredibly high tech, unbelievably ergonomic (once you try them, you’ll know what I mean) and look sleek as hell.
Their take on a cock ring comes in the form of the LELO TOR 2. The world’s first waterproof and rechargeable “couple’s” ring, the design of the TOR 2 looked super smooth and comfortable, and claimed to be easy to use. Plus, satisfying us both at the same time? Sounded like a dream.
LELO TOR 2. Image: supplied.
So I slipped it on the base of my penis and pressed the “on” button. Immediately, electrical currents pulsated through my entire body and my erection got harder. Then, we went at it. She was louder than she’d ever ever been, her eyes bulging, and me, too lost in my own physical sensations to even worry about whether or not I was doing enough. Although, if I had taken a second to step outside myself, it would have been clear that it was. Getting out of my head was exactly what I needed.
The flexible ring expanded easily, and controlling the 6 patterns and vibrations didn’t take more than a touch. It was also whisper silent when on, which meant it didn’t take away from the passion.
From vibrating cock rings, the transition to other sex toys was inevitable. Now, if I orgasm before her, instead of declaring sex over just because I came, I use the LELO SILA Cruise – a sonic clitoral vibrator which boasts eight sonic wave intensities, and a mouth that spreads vibrations with equal intensity across the whole clitoris, not just in its centre – meaning a sensual, slow build-up of orgasm.
THE LELO SILA Cruise. Image: supplied.
And not too surprisingly, she loves it.
But the cock ring was my gateway toy. We both loved it. We both benefited from it, because let’s get real: No matter how hard I try, I can’t make my penis vibrate on its own.
Through that experience, I learned that toys have nothing to do with my sexual (in)adequacy. How could I have ever questioned something that brings my partner and me so much extra enjoyment? There are some things I physically can’t do, and that’s OK. This doesn’t make me less of a man or lover. In fact, I’ve become a much better lover since I’ve started incorporating sex toys into my life. I’m able to acknowledge that it’s OK not to be the sex god I thought I needed to be. Or, at least, not without toys…
Just like women, men put tons of pressure on themselves to be good at sex. We think we need to do it all by ourselves or we’re not “real men.” This is absolutely ridiculous, but it’s so ingrained. That’s why you’re not only going to have to forgive us for our insecurities but also help us change our outlook. The best way to do that? You now know: A vibrating cock ring.
Find out more here https://www.lelo.com/tor-2