Disclosing your romantic past can be a trap. Image: Shutterstock.
Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three
women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers. Today they’re asked: “I’ve just started dating a girl who I really like, but I have a long ledger that I’m afraid might put her off. Do I have to disclose my history with other women?” – WC
Nik: From my perspective, it’s not a bad thing that he has a long list. Maybe she does, too.
Jess: And I don’t think it’s something you have to disclose, WC.
Becky: I think it only needs to be disclosed if both parties are keen to have that discussion. Some people enter new relationships wanting to know nothing about their new partner’s past. Your past doesn’t define you.
Nik: If you’re worried about it, you can let her know upfront. But I think leaving it until that conversation comes up naturally – if it ever does – is fine, too.
Becky: To be honest, I think if she has a problem with your having some experience, then she might not be the girl for you.
Jess: A common misconception in relationships is that you have the right to know everything about the person you’re dating. But it’s not a confessional you’re stepping into.
I don’t see why a long ledger should affect a new relationship. I think it’s more important you’re on the same page of exclusive or not.
Nik: Very true.
Jess: If you do have that conversation, do it without judgment and avoid turning it into a competition where you’re trying to one-up each other.
Becky: Yup. Everybody has a past, but only you can control your future.
