The movies might depict dating in the modern world as a time of endless possibility and desire. Thanks to a number of Netflix rom-coms, we’re led to believe that potential suitors are practically lining up outside our doors begging for a shot at dating us, with our phones practically groaning under the weight of online dating matches and messages we’re yet to respond to. But as anyone who has ventured into the murky territories of modern dating can attest, the reality is far more bleak. From the terror of blind dates, to online profiles that don’t quite fit the real-life person, and the threat of being ghosted, the experience is more akin to being led across a highway in peak traffic conditions, blindfolded. Hazards abound.
In a new low for those dating everywhere, one man has now took it upon himself to dictate the terms of rejection. Rather than accept it graciously in person, to then go home and cry into his pillow, one man in Singapore is instead choosing to file two lawsuits against a woman who refused to date him. He claims she caused him “emotional trauma” after telling him she just wanted to be friends.
Simply identified as K. Kawshigan, the man in question supposedly even threatened to sue the woman when she first voiced her rejection. But after she agreed to attend counselling sessions with him, the lawsuit was put on hold. According to the Straits Times, the woman – known as Nora Tan – actually attended the sessions for a year and a half. But after months of rejecting Kawshigan’s romantic advances and eventually cutting contact with him, Kawshigan went ahead and filed the two lawsuits. Ah yes, how mature of him.
It’s believed Kawshigan sued because Tan caused him “trauma” by rejecting his multiple advances. The former considered Tan his “closest friend”, while Tan simply thought they were friends. It meant Kawshigan was shocked when Tan suggested they take a step back from their social interactions together, with Tan encouraging him to become “self-reliant”. This led Kawshigan to send her a letter alleging “monetary damages arising from negligent infliction of emotional distress and possible defamation”, ultimately moving forward with the lawsuit.
One suit filed in a high court has a claim of $3 million, alleging that Tan caused “damage to his [Kawshigan’s] stellar reputation” and bringing “trauma, depression and impacts” to his life. A second suit was then filed with a magistrate’s court, asking for $16,700 in damages for breaching an agreement to improve their relationship after Tan stopped attending counselling sessions, according to court documents obtained by Channel News Asia. This suit has since been dismissed by deputy registrar Lewis Tan who called the suit “manifestly groundless and without foundation.”
Lewis also added that the court would not be an accessory to Kawshigan’s “calculated attempt to compel engagement” from Tan, which essentially seems to define the entirety of this experience. Tan began her own harassment suit against Kawshigan in April last year after she stopped attending counselling sessions. Kawshigan however, continued to contact her. She then cut off contact completely on May 19.
The judgement, which was released on Saturday, said Tan “after years of massaging the claimant’s unhappiness, has finally decided to stand up to his threats rather than cower and give in to his demands.” With the high court suit set for a case conference on February 9, we can only hope justice prevails. And to men everywhere, know that no woman owes you a relationship. Take rejection on the chin, mourn it for a little while, then move on without getting the lawyers involved.
