Straight up advice on things that make men crazy.
Q: I’m middle-aged and happily married. When will I stop lusting after young women in the office? – Randall
If you’re like most men, Randy, I’m going to say when you retire. I’m not one of those prudes who think it’s a social sin to appreciate an intelligent woman who’s fit and dresses nicely. But that doesn’t give you permission to stare – to linger over every curve, smoke coming out of your ears.
Sure, some things in this life make a man say, “Thank you, God” – and a beautiful woman is one of them. But so is a rainbow trout. And neither wants to go to bed with you. So whisper the gratitude to yourself and get back to work.
Q: Going up to a woman and telling her she’s beautiful: sweet. . . or creepy? – Greg
Depends on the context. If you’re 10 beers deep, chances are she’ll put the compliment down to booze-related bravado. Hallmark musings should be genuine. If it’s after a nice chicken parmigiana and you’ve clicked over your mutual love for cronuts and Adam Sandler flicks, speak freely. Also, it won’t hurt to say why – beautiful freckles/laugh/energy – it shows you’re paying attention,, which always pays off.
Q: I can only manage it once per session. Could that be a problem? – Stephen
For a few dances, perhaps. But the majority of lassies would be happy to stand down after one pop. Especially if you can keep your motor running for marathon periods. Otherwise you could run into a handful of issues – too much chaffing, too few Kleenex, two tired participants. Be kind to yourself, and choose quality over quantity.