AS A TEENAGER, anal sex was something you either swore you would never do because it was gross or something you thought you had to do because it was cool. But in reality, anal is just like any other sexual activity – some people like it, some people hate it, and some people have absolutely no idea how to do it.
If you fall into that last category, don’t worry. Having anal sex for the first time can be equal parts terrifying and exciting. If you’re getting ready to get it in the backdoor, you don’t have to go through it blind. This comprehensive guide will cover all of the basics and answer your most important questions about butt sex. We’ll also give you some hot tips on how to enjoy anal, even if you think it might not be your cup of tea.
What Is Anal Sex?
Anal sex is any sexual activity that involves the stimulation and penetration of the anus. When most people talk about anal sex, they usually mean anal penetration with a penis, but you can also use your fingers or a sex toy.
Is Anal Sex Normal?
“Normal” is a loaded word because what society considers “abnormal” sexual behaviour today could be considered “normal” a few years down the line. But here’s what we can say: if you’re thinking about having anal sex, you’re definitely not alone.
Anal is much more common than you think. A 2010 survey found that 40% of men and women have engaged in some form of anal sex at least once in their lives. But while around 40% of men have tried anal sex, a whopping 67% of men only give anal sex and don’t receive it. Pornhub also revealed in 2017 that anal is the 7th most-viewed porn category on their site.
So, back to the question: is anal normal? All signs point to yes.
Should I Try Anal?
Whether or not you should try anal is a personal decision – only you can make that decision for yourself. It’s important to not let anyone pressure you into it. If you’re not 100% enthusiastic about it, you don’t have to do it, no matter what your friends, your partner, or society says.
Does Anal Sex Hurt?
The anus isn’t like the vagina; it doesn’t produce its own natural lubrication, and it doesn’t “loosen up” and adjust during penetration. If you approach anal sex the same way you approach vaginal sex, it will most likely be painful. So if you’re wondering how to start an anal session properly: relax your muscles, and use generous amounts of lube.
Do Women Actually Enjoy Anal Sex?
There are a couple of reasons for men to enjoy anal sex. First, the anus is less flexible and much tighter than the vagina, making it extremely pleasurable for the giver. Second, even if anal is becoming increasingly popular, having anal sex is still seen as somewhat taboo. So actually getting to do it is pretty exciting. Men also have something called a prostate, a gland that’s found right at the front of the rectum. Stimulating the prostate feels good and can even lead to orgasm, so it’s no surprise that some men enjoy anal sex even on the receiving end too. But what about women, who don’t have a prostate? Is it still pleasurable for them?
There is no straight answer for this. It’s almost like asking “do women actually enjoy pizza?” Some women enjoy anal intercourse (and may even prefer it to vaginal sex), while others will say they don’t like it. And a woman who does like anal may not like it all the time, depending on the partner or the circumstances.
How To Prepare For Anal Sex
Talk About It
As fun as spontaneous sex is, surprise anal is often more painful than pleasurable. Deciding to do anal is a big step, and you and your partner should talk about it first to make sure you’re on the same page. Discuss boundaries and get ready with a “plan”: when, where, and how you’re going to go about it.
Do Your Research
It’s natural to be nervous, but you’ll be less anxious if you know what to expect. Educate yourself about how to do anal, the things you need to do beforehand, and the safety measures you need to take to have a good time.
While you can theoretically jump from anal virgin to taking an 8-inch dildo up the bum, we definitely don’t recommend it. Penis-in-anus intercourse can be very intimidating, so start with one or two fingers first. You can even try it alone during masturbation if you’re still too shy to explore it with your partner.
We’re going to say it straight up: getting poo on your fingers or your partner’s penis may sound humiliating, but it’s one of the hazards of anal. You can minimise the damage by laying down a towel beforehand, keeping baby wipes and hand sanitiser nearby, and just accepting the fact that it’s not the end of the world if it does happen. Some people also take the extra step by douching or using an enema for a deep clean.
When it comes to anal sex positions, everyone has their own preferences. But some positions are easier and more comfortable for beginners than others. Doggy style is probably the first position that comes to mind, but because of the angle, it can get very intense for the bottom. Instead, go for missionary, side sex, or even cowboy to give the receiver more control over the depth and speed.
What are the different types of anal sex?
Porn has taught us that anal is mostly penetrative. But there are actually three distinct ways that anal play can bring pleasure to women. 40% of women find anal surfacing pleasurable. This is when you make contact around the anus, but don’t penetrate. Anal Shallowing is when minimal penetration is made, which can be just as intense as full penetration. And anal Pairing is a whole new wheelhouse. This when simultaneous anal touching and vaginal penetration take place, which is said to be the most pleasurable of all.
What’s the deal with prostate stimulation?
Female anal penetration is not the only pleasurable anal experience, a whole range of stimulatory practices for men, centred on prostate stimulation, are there for the taking. Now, more guys are testing the waters to see if prostate stimulation is all its cracked up to be. Although, four out of five men don’t know that the prostate is an erogenous zone. But this knowledge can unlock a whole new world of intense sexual pleasure.
Is Anal Sex Safe?
One advantage that anal sex has over vaginal penetration is that there is little to no risk of getting pregnant. But anal sex, like any other sexual activity, isn’t completely risk-free. If you have anal sex, you can still get haemorrhoids, bacterial infections, and sexually transmitted diseases. Anal is also the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV, with the bottom or receiving partner being 13 times more at risk of getting infected than the penetrative partner. As always, the best way to avoid contracting infections is by using a condom.
If we had to leave you with one last piece of advice, it’s this: relax and try to have fun. First-time anal can be overwhelming and scary, but it can also open up a whole world of pleasure for you.
Oh, and don’t forget the condom and lube!