According to Scoats’ findings, a third of male students he surveyed said they had a threesome by their second year of study. Six had had more than one.
According to the Daily Mail, of the 10 men who said they had a threesome, seven claimed they had been in at least one female-female-male (FFM) threesome. Five of the men revealed they had been in at least one male-male-female (MMF) threesome. Two of the 10 men said they had experienced both.
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“In the past it would have been more stigmatized for men to have MMF threesomes,” Scoats told Broadly. He noted that among the albeit small sample size of men he interviewed, “they did seem comfortable telling at least their friends that they’d had an MMF threesome. I think because of the reduction of homophobia in general within society, this allows men to have these kinds of threesomes with no fear about what others are going to think of them for it.”
Scoats pointed out that his sample was limited to mostly white male college students. However, he did point to other research that yielded similar findings among men of differing socioeconomic backgrounds.
“Men are more likely to have an MMF threesome if it’s with someone that they know well, with someone that’s a good friend,” Scoats told Broadly. “If it’s not a good friend, it reduces the chances of that happening.”
Take, for example, one of Scoats’ subjects named Brent, who said, “You get to ‘high five’ your mate over her back and that’s about it really.” Another subject, Matthew, added, “It was quite a funny, a good experience. We both had a bit of banter between us. It was quite fun. It was quite enjoyable.”
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While men appear to be more open to the idea of MMF threesomes, Scoats found in a separate study that women remain reluctant to join in for a number of reasons.
“Women are generally more reluctant to engage in MMF threesomes than men, maybe because they find it intimidating or objectifying,” Scoats told the Daily Mail. The fix? Ensuring the men are willing to sexually engage with one another during the ménage à trois.
“When it’s suggested the males will be interacting sexually, for some women, this can be anxiety-reducing because they appear less like an object,” Scoats added.
Whatever your situation, arrangement, or preference, it’s really all about letting go of societal stigma, pressure and preconceived notions, according to Scoats. Just make sure to have an open conversation with your menage-mates about who is comfortable with putting what where, and how you’ll all engage safely.
As Scoats put it, “Threesome sex is just like any other sex.”
This article originally appeared on Menshealth.com