Everyone has a first time. Some when they’re younger, others when they hold out for someone special. Irregardless of when, you’re going to have a first time. So if you find yourself past your youth, should you break the news to a potential mate about your lack of experience? Fortunately, the women of Reddit can help you out.
“Tell her, but not because it’s important/pivotal in any way, but because it’ll be helpful for her to know. If she’s lovely like you say she is it won’t change how she feels for you but it’ll help her kind of help yourself the first time around because it’s really not as straightforward as if looks the first time. Best of luck and enjoy yourself :)” – @KnitterWithAttitude
“I think that if you value this girl, if you want to form a deeper bond and a strong relationship with her then you will regret not letting her share this experience with you. You will regret it and she will feel disappointed that you weren’t open with her.
“I was in your position and I made the mistake of not telling her. We went on to have a wonderful, loving relationship of two years that is still going and I do regret not letting this person, who then became my best friend and partner, participate in a fun first time experience for me. I cant speak to your reasons for keeping it to yourself, but I was silent about it because I wasn’t, at the time, someone who opens up easily.
“So my advice is to tell her now, if you see a future with her and can feel comfortable in sharing yourself. sharing your inexperience will make things that much more intimate and satisfying for the both of you.
“I can speak from experience, if you don’t tell her you run the risk of regretting it and feeling bad for your dishonesty and witholding an experience that could have brought you closer.” – @ eam-mouserat
“Have never posted here, but I am 25F and have slept with several guys around your age who were virgins. Definitely tell her. If she’s someone who is worth having a LTR with, it won’t be a big deal to her and it’ll make your first time much better. I’ve found that there is a little recalibration of expectations (going slower, giving more direction, etc), which I wouldn’t ordinarily do, so it’s good to know ahead of time. Plus, it lays a foundation of open communication, which means better sex later on. Good luck! And don’t worry too much about it…she’ll probably be a little surprised, but it’s really no big deal.” – @ elecki
“Tell her after you’ve had some sexual contact — you’ve kissed, maybe fooled around a little, etc. Then later, not during one of these times, tell her you’ve never gone further than you have with her up to this point but that you want to with her.
“Also, get brave about talking about sex during sexual contact. Be able to ask her if she likes what you’re doing, if she would show you how she likes to be touched, etc. Being able to communicate about pleasure will make you a better lover as a novice.” – @Spoonbills
“My boyfriend and I were talking about this the other night – about how men feel embarrassed about being virgins past like, 16. Honesty is the best policy in this situation. This can actually be a really good experience for the both of you to try things and experiment a bit sexually.” – @sarahornejewett
“As long as you don’t tell her that you are not a virgin, it doesn’t matters if you tell her now or whenever she asks or figures out.
“I don’t see it as a secret unless you are actively hiding the fact by lying, avoiding topic, refusing to disclose whatever.” – @