What to Do If You Want to Have Sex Way More Often Than Your Partner | Men's Health Magazine Australia

What to Do If You Want to Have Sex Way More Often Than Your Partner

Being on the same page as your partner can solve a lot of things. Chores are shared equally, picking a movie takes like five seconds, and your sex life is incredible. But we’re going to go ahead and guess that you and your partner don’t agree on literally everything. And when you disagree about how much sex is enough, that can be a big problem. We’ve asked experts to explain why syncing up your sex life can be tough and how to fix that.

The Problem: You Want Sex More Often

Men’s higher libidos are hardwired because they have more testosterone, says Dr Megan Fleming, a sex and relationships expert. And it’s physiologically easier for you to get aroused spontaneously. It might just take some simple signs, like seeing her step out of the shower, to get you aroused.

SYNC UP: Tell her you want to get busy. Feel awkward? Bring it up in a setting that makes sense – say, while watching a movie. “The language we use to talk about sex can be sexy in itself,” says Dr Ian Kerner, a psychotherapist and sexuality counsellor, so phrase it like a fantasy. (“I love morning sex with you. It would be so hot if we could do more of that.”) If it’s still not happening, make an emotional case, says Fleming. Explain what it means to you (e.g., you feel closer to her) so she knows it’s important to you and your bond.

The Problem: She Wants Sex More Often

Men greatly underestimate their partners’ sex drives, found a recent study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. It also showed that if men thought their partners weren’t up for doing it, they wouldn’t attempt to initiate. But women do want sex. Although they might not be as free with sexual expression, so you may not pick up on her cues. 

SYNC UP: Don’t belittle her requests. “The higher-desire partner’s sexual frustration can leave them feeling hurt, while the lower-desire partner feels pressured,” says Kerner. The solution: Compromise on how often you want to do it, and schedule your romps. 

The article What to Do If You Want to Have Sex Way More Often Than Your Partner originally appeared on Women’s Health.

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