The trajectory of my career has certainly been unexpected. From the structured world of astrophysics, to the whirlwind of reality TV as The Bachelor, and now, as a sole trader, my journey has been a masterclass in adaptability and resilience.
While the public may have seen the glamour of being on a hit TV show, the reality of being a sole trader is a different beast entirely. It’s a journey filled with incredible highs, but also challenges that often go unspoken, particularly when it comes to mental wellbeing.
Being plucked from obscurity and thrown straight into the public eye brought with it a jarring change from a private to a public life, and with that came scrutiny, commentary and of course ‘trolling’ that weighed heavily on my mental health.
When I first transitioned into being my own boss, there was an undeniable thrill. The independence, the freedom to set my own hours and the ability to pursue projects I was truly passionate about. After the intense public scrutiny and demanding schedule of The Bachelor, the idea of more flexibility in my working life was incredibly appealing. I was working on exciting new ventures, attending public appearances, and developing content that felt authentic to me.
However, as many sole traders will relate to, the demands of wearing every single hat in your business do take their toll. I was no longer just the astrophysicist or the TV personality but also the accountant, the marketing manager, the administrator, the IT support, and the client relations team.
Managing these very different roles can be challenging and recent research from Solo by MYOB shows that for 30% of Australian male sole traders, myself included at times, this means often working evenings to catch up on administrative tasks. That’s time taken away from personal life, from hobbies, from simply switching off.
Beyond the admin overload, for some there can be a more complex challenge of social isolation. The solitude of being a sole trader can mean no colleagues to bounce ideas off and no in-built support network. In fact, the Solo by MYOB research demonstrates 54% of male sole traders report feeling lonely or isolated at times.
I can definitely relate to feeling like I was missing out on the camaraderie and informal support that comes with regular social interaction in a traditional workplace at times. On reflection, whilst it was not the biggest factor, I do feel that this played some part in the lower moments of my personal mental health journey over recent years. Long hours and constant demands meant that my work-life balance was out of kilter and my personal relationships and self-care took a back seat. While I – like many others – recharge with alone time, I genuinely thrive when socialising. Dramatically cutting back how often and how long I could spend with friends had a clear impact on my mental health. We’re social creatures, and for sole traders like me, sacrificing that connection is common – but it’s something we really shouldn’t be compromising on.
The statistics say a lot: 1 in 4 (25%) male sole traders take no holidays at all and for 1 in 10 (12%), it’s been three or four years since they had a proper break from work. It’s perhaps unsurprising therefore that 60% of male sole trader respondents agree that to some extent they are physically or mentally exhausted by the demands of being their own boss. I’ve certainly been guilty of working when I should have been resting and prioritising my mental health. Without the structure of a conventional 9-5, the flexibility of “working from home” can quickly slip into a case of “living at work”; we can often feel guilty taking breaks and the proliferation of “hustle culture” throughout social media sets a dangerous precedent that if you’re not working, you’re losing ground. It’s not hard to see why exhaustion is not uncommon – it certainly was the case for me.
As we enter Men’s Health Week in Australia, I am a firm believer that acknowledging these challenges is the first step towards managing them and encouraging conversations which may unearth potential solutions. Being your own boss should be exciting, unlocking flexibility and new opportunities. My journey has taught me invaluable lessons about prioritising mental health as a sole trader and whilst I do not have all the answers, I have found the below strategies have worked for me:
1. Define your boundaries (and stick to them):
This is crucial. Treat your personal time with the same respect you treat client or project deadlines. Establish clear “working hours” and switch off work-related notifications outside of these. It’s incredibly tempting to “just send one more email” or “quickly finish this task,” but those small incursions add up. I’ve found designating specific times for work and for personal life, and being disciplined about it, makes a real difference.
2. Proactively seek connection:
Combat any feelings of isolation by actively building a support network. This doesn’t have to be formal. It could be regular coffee catch-ups with other sole operators, joining industry groups, or simply making an effort to connect with friends and family. Solo by MYOB users, for example, have access to an online community of fellow sole traders which can be a valuable resource for sharing advice, practical tips and reducing feelings of isolation. Remember, you are not the only one facing these challenges.
3. Master the art of delegation (or automation):
As sole traders, we often think we have to do everything ourselves, but I have learnt that time is your most valuable asset. Identify tasks which are a time drain or are not core to your business development. Can you automate invoicing? Use a mobile app for expense tracking? Delegate administrative tasks if feasible, even if it’s just a few hours a week. Tools like Solo by MYOB are specifically designed to reduce that admin burden, freeing you up for more meaningful work and less stress.
4. Prioritise breaks:
1 in 4 male sole traders taking no holidays is concerning. You simply cannot pour from an empty cup so scheduling regular breaks, whether it’s a short walk during the day, a weekend getaway, or an actual holiday is really important. These should not be viewed as luxuries, rather essential breaks for recharging your mental and physical batteries. I now consciously plan breaks, knowing they improve my productivity and overall wellbeing.
5. Don't be afraid to ask for help:
This is perhaps the most important lesson. Whether it’s seeking professional financial advice, talking to a mental health professional, or simply confiding in a trusted friend or supportive family member, reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. There are many brilliant resources available, and you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone.
While being your own boss is powerful, being a sole trader requires resilience, planning ahead and a proactive approach to mental health. By acknowledging the unique pressures, building robust support systems, and embracing tools that simplify processes where possible, Aussie sole operators can strive for a work life that is not only professionally rewarding but also personally sustainable.
Dr Matt Agnew is a data scientist (with a passion for artificial intelligence), astrophysicist and engineer. With academic credentials spanning the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) portfolio, myriad appearances across a variety of media channels, and a social media profile for reaching a wide and varied audience, Matt is a qualified, passionate and engaging scientist and ‘edutainer’.
Solo by MYOB is an all-in-one mobile app for Australian sole operators, freelancers, and the self-employed, helping with things including invoicing, instant payments, expense tracking and ATO-ready recordkeeping.
For more information, please visit solobymyob.com.
