Ghosting. If you’re in the dating game, you’ve probably either done it or had it done to you—or both.
If you’re on the receiving end, it hurts, it’s confusing, and it leaves you asking the big unanswered question: “Why did they ghost me?” If you’ve been left wondering what went wrong, 10 women have stepped up and given their reasons for ghosting a partner.
Note: don’t bring slippers to a first date.
“I’m a regular ghoster—I just get bored really easily as I have ADHD, and once I’ve lost interest it’s gone—totally gone—to the point I can’t bring myself to bother talking to them again. I can’t dump them as I have no real reason, hence I have lots of failed relationships and a massive blocked list.” —Stephi R.
“I was hanging out with a group of guys quite a bit older than me (5-10 years) and I really, really fancied one of the guys, but he just wasn’t into it. I went out with his pal a few times, and in the end I ghosted him because it was easier than admitting I was only with him to make his friend jealous.” —Heather S.
“So… He was 36 and I was 23. He looked a bit like the guy who plays the comedian in Watchmen and was super lovely. I went to his for a movie night and he explained how he was married and was polyamorous. Hooked up and all was fine, made plans to meet up and again, and then he messaged, ‘We need to be completely honest about other people we are with, I need to know what birth control you’re on, I need to know when you get tested for STIs’ and I just freaked. It was waaaay too much for me to communicate, so I just never text him back.” —Mhairi L.
“We had been chatting for a week, he had great chat and was super smart but as soon as I met him in person I just wasn’t feeling it. I also really didn’t like his jacket—it was one of those little leather bomber ones that I swear teenage girls used to wear back in the day. The date came to an end, the poor guy tried to kiss me and I said I couldn’t BECAUSE I HAD SORE LIPS. He texted me the next day and I never got around to sending that reply.” —Katie R.
“I was talking to a guy every day in a new city I was moving to, and we really got on before I moved here, and then when I finally met him, he was such a catfish. I saw him a few times after (I’m a coward) and then someone better came along, and I just ghosted him. He was really dull and I’m sorry, but I don’t feel bad. He brought a sleepover bag to our first date, [and] can I add: IT LITERALLY HAD SLIPPERS IN IT.” —Iliana O.
“I ghosted him because I actually had a boyfriend. Plain and simple. The shortest reason for ghosting ever!” —Laura K.
“I ghosted a guy who lied about being 5’10 and ended up being 5’6 in real life (I’m 5’10 myself). We got drunk and I thought maybe his line about all being the same height lying down could result in a good shag, but instead I pretended my flatmate was going through a breakup and left…and then dodged his 34 texts for the next month.” —Megan S.
“I matched with a guy on Tinder who turned out to live just down the road from me. He was a classic boy who had a lot of sexual promises. He ended up coming to my apartment at 3 a.m. after I’d done a night shift. He came in and barely spoke, we had truly disappointing sex, and he then proceeded to take my clock and anything else that made noise out of my bedroom. Saw him once more and then decided enough was enough. What’s annoying is that he’s a writer, and a good one at that, and I get so agitated that he isn’t as fun in real and is terrible and selfish in bed.” —Holly M.
“I had an internet thing with a guy for about a year. We’d stay up until 6 a.m. sending each other voice notes on Facebook chat because we were so excited by each other we couldn’t type fast enough. After a year of dancing around each other, agreeing to meet, he got tagged in a ‘we’ve got a mortgage ????????’ post by his long-term girlfriend who I didn’t have a clue existed until this point. I felt so hurt I just spitefully read all his messages he sent me after that and never replied.” —Jess D.
“I ghosted my ex. I was convinced a few months after breaking up with him that I wanted him back, so I started messaging him that I missed him, which I thought was true, and we arranged to meet up. I suddenly realized that actually I wasn’t interested and had broken up with him for good reason. I never went to meet him and never texted him back again. SORRY, BYE FOREVER.” —Sam T.
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health