Dirty talk is tough. You’re never quite sure whether you’re crossing the line or whether your partner shares the same fantasies. Sometimes it’s easier to keep small talk to a minimum so you don’t kill the mood. Fortunately, women of reddit reveal what you shouldn’t say in the bed.
In a recent thread posted to the online forum, women share the most off putting chat they’ve heard while getting down and dirty.
RELATED: How To Talk Dirty To Her
Included in the list of the questionable comments were:
“Is This thing on? Taps on the ‘mic’ a couple times” – @kindaknow
“It’s like i’m doing my cousin” ( context: two best friends sleeping with each other – still a massive no) – @thatbipolaralcoholic
“Your mother is right, you did gain some weight.” – @whatchamathing
“Said he was going to use his ‘fuck stick’ on me” – @nottylilpearl
“Do you want to unwrap the gift or shall I?” – @SparklingFuriosa
“Oh my god, your skin is soft…you’re like a newborn baby!” – @ShrodingersPussy
“What if i died right now? Would you keep going till you finished?” – @prismaticbeans
“One night stand: ‘How many guys have you fucked?’ while we were fucking“
“Are you going to cum? repeatedly” – @nutellakitty
“I’M BATMAN” – @zelda_redditer
“I wish i was 2 inches bigger” – @newnanny16
“The smoothies almost ready” – @andaluzium
So what can we learn from the mistakes of men before us? Well it seem the first thing you should do is stop yourself from giving your pork sword any type of nick name. Secondly, bringing up previous relationships and family related questions is a huge NO. Lastly, don’t overthink each other’s orgasm like pressuring your partner to cum or use euphemisms for your load.
Want to get it right? Check out the best things to say before, during and after sex.