How to Last Longer In Bed, According To a Sex Therapist Who Overcame Premature Ejaculation | Men's Health Magazine Australia

How to Last Longer In Bed, According To a Sex Therapist Who Overcame Premature Ejaculation

As a chronic premature ejaculator, I was sure my epitaph would be “He came. He saw. He came again.”   Sometimes I’d climax before I even got my boxers off, so forget sex. I avoided dates. Intimacy meant humiliation and a dry-cleaning bill.   About 40 percent of men have similar problems to varying degrees, […]

As a chronic premature ejaculator, I was sure my epitaph would be “He came. He saw. He came again.”

 

Sometimes I’d climax before I even got my boxers off, so forget sex. I avoided dates. Intimacy meant humiliation and a dry-cleaning bill.

 

About 40 percent of men have similar problems to varying degrees, say researchers in Malaysia. Premature ejaculation (PE) can be defined as ejaculation occurring within 60 seconds of penetration.

 

This can utterly destroy your sex life.

 

Related: 5 Tips For Staying Erect Enough For Sex

 

I overcame my condition in my late 20s, but it was a factor in my decision to become a sex therapist and to write a book titled, not ironically at all, She Comes First. Since then I’ve helped thousands of men beat their PE.

 

What I’ve learned: Any man can last longer in bed with the following tips.

 

Try them tonight, and enjoy the ride.

 

Master the Mini-Orgasm

 

Practice masturbating nearly to the point of ejaculation, and then stop.

 

Male orgasm consists of two phases: emission (when semen is loaded into the urethra) and ejaculation (when it’s expelled). You want to reach the emission phase, before ejaculation, and experience the feeling of a minor pelvic contraction or two but without fully ejaculating.

 

This mini-orgasm functions as a release valve, easing some of the tension in your penis and dialling back the sexual response process. It takes a bit of practice to execute during sex, but you’ve had worse homework assignments, right?

 

Related: Is My Penis Normal?

 

Make Your Penis a Sex Toy

 

Perpendicular sex positions allow for clitoral stimulation without penetration, which can help you last longer.

 

As you each lie on your side facing each other, create a 90-degree angle between your shaft and her vulva. Instead of penetrating, press your shaft lengthwise against her clitoris and gently move it back and forth.

 

You’re basically creating a sex toy out of the top side of your penis, which is far less sensitive than the underside.

 

When she’s getting close, switch to a more stimulating position. With luck she’ll reach orgasm first, even if you ejaculate within a minute or so.

Pop This Pill

If all else fails, a class of antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Zoloft, Prozac, and Paxil, may help. One side effect is delayed ejaculation.

Research suggests that taking an SSRI before sex may help men with PE last four to five times longer. In the same study, all 100 premature ejaculators who took some form of antidepressant before sex saw improvements in their staying power.

Obviously your doctor will need to weigh in. In my own case, I used an SSRI to good effect. And I’ve seen these drugs help a lot of other men with PE as well.

Use a Numbing Spray

If other methods aren’t enough, try an over-the-counter delaying spray containing lidocaine.

Related: If You Do This During Sex, You May Be At Risk Of Cancer

I like Promescent, which was formulated by a urologist. In one study, 74 per cent of men who used a lidocaine-based spray lasted longer than two minutes, versus just 22 per cent of the placebo group.

And in a study I designed with researcher Dr Kristen Mark, many men using Promescent lasted as long as 11 minutes. You only need two or three squirts, and it absorbs easily so it won’t leave you (or her) numb.

Try it while masturbating, first using one spritz and then two to learn which dosage works best.

By Mens Health Staff

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